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We couldn’t just keep talking about it and never take any action. He has had health problems off and on through our entire relationship and we both realized that we needed to make a real change. We both came from homes that were not very health conscious so when we got together we just followed the same pattern. Mike and I have been together for 20 years since we were teenagers. I knew that I needed to change my lifestyle for myself so that I didn’t follow in the same path as my grandparents, but the truth is what really made me change is the fear of losing my husband.
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It also created an irrational, or maybe partially rational fear of losing the people I love. I think losing my Nana and Papa at such a young age made me realize how short and precious life is. No one in my family was ever really concerned about nutrition or exercise. Then only 5 years later my Papa, also died of a heart attack. I was only 5 at the time and I didn’t realize how young that actually was. My mom’s mom, my Nana died at the age of 46 of a heart attack. In the back of my mind, there was always a fear because I knew that heart disease runs in my family and that if I kept going down the road that I was on it could end up killing me. And even though I had lost some weight I knew that the way I was doing it wasn’t healthy. Over the next 10 years, my weight would yo-yo between 150-160. I wasn’t getting the nutrition I needed, I was drinking a lot of diet soda and the weekends were like binges of bad food because I knew Monday would come around and I’d be back “dieting” again. I managed to get to around 150 pounds after several months of doing that.
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I would count calories Monday – Friday and not eat more than 1200 calories a day then I would eat what I wanted on the weekend. Finally, I was able to find some success with calorie counting. I even tried some home workouts that just got boring and didn’t seem to work anyway. I joined a gym for a while, which didn’t work because I started making excuses to not go or to cut my workouts shorter than they needed to be. That was when I first really started to try to lose weight. When I was around 24 I was at my heaviest, 168 pounds, which at 5’4” was a weight that I was not comfortable with anymore. There always seemed to be a good reason to put off the change until “tomorrow”. Although I always knew that these choices weren’t good for me, I figured that “someday” I would change my course but not today because _ (fill in the blank with any excuse to put off the work until later). Fast food and sweets were a regular part of my diet and I have never been a very consistent exerciser. It seems like from the time that I can remember I have always felt like I was overweight and have been very self-conscious about my body. I have never been one of the thin girls who didn’t have to worry about what I ate.